The news of their relationship broke late last year and since then, the media have been awash with the love story of the latest Romeo and Juliet in town; Kayode Salako and Nollywood actress, Foluke Daramola. The issue became hotter, when Kayode’s wife of 13 years, Bukola left her matrimonial home with their three children, all boys. But Kayode insisted that the woman did not leave his house because of Foluke since he did not bring her to his matrimonial home. However, with the consummation of their relationship with a traditional marriage on February 15, 2013, Kayode and Foluke have proven that their coming together is not a child’s play. In this interview, Kayode, who used to run Fasholamania Network Group and now the head of Change Agents of Nigeria Network, CAAN, revealed all the behind the scene news of his settling down with the beautiful actress. It was a no-holds-barred interview session
Why did you decide to marry Foluke Daramola despite the crisis it has apparently caused in your family?
My decision to marry Foluke Daramola is not a decision of my own, it is a decision of God. What I got married to in her is the fact that God convinced the two of us and our parents, that is why everybody was in support. On our wedding day, everybody that matters in her family and in my family was present to show approval. Her parents are in support and they are all committed to it. Foluke Daramola’s mother is a reverend and a member of Mountain of Fire and Miracles Ministry (MFM). She wouldn’t have supported her daughter to break another man’s home to marry him. She herself got the conviction; my father too got the conviction. What I got married to in Foluke Daramola was the conviction. What I went to engage in her family house on Friday, February 15, 2013 was more of the conviction than Foluke Daramola herself. If it were about Foluke, I don’t think I need a wife hurriedly; a woman, one ‘wahala’ just left my house, I don’t think getting married to another woman should be the paramount item on my agenda, I should have given myself enough time to sort out the issue of my life before going into another woman’s palaver. But, from every spiritual consultation and all the places I went to pray, I was encouraged to go and marry Foluke Daramola before it is too late, that she is the woman of my destiny. We saw it in our dreams, pastors saw it in their petitions, Alfas saw it, different people from our family and friends went to pray about it and everybody came back with the same conviction that Foluke is the woman of my destiny and I am the man of her destiny. I am the reason her first marriage did not work, she is also the reason my own wife too hurriedly moved out of my life because there was no reason under this earth for my former wife to have moved out of the house if not because God was the architect of everything that has happened in my life in the last one year.
Can you describe your love story with Foluke and do we expect a white wedding with her after soon?
My love life with Foluke Daramola is the one that has given me the kind of experience that has been very deep, I am a very emotional person, I like to express myself emotionally and since I met Foluke, I have been over-expressing it around her. The way I feel around Foluke is a conviction that she is my wife. She is a woman God created to be my wife and that is why she does not have a choice. Foluke Daramola will always marry me again, again and again. My love story with her is orchestrated by God, the way I feel about her is the way she feels about me, it has been so refreshing, so deep and we express it lavishly to each other. To validate the conviction is the fact that we fight childishly and settle it childishly and we don’t hold grudges against each other, when we fight and we say it is over, it is over, we won’t repeat it again and that brings about the fact that the two of us share the same nature. Every characteristic of Foluke Daramola is the same with mine. Anything Foluke can do is what I can do; the two of us are more than 1,000% compatible. What she likes, I like and what she doesn’t like are what I don’t like; what she likes doing are what I like doing, the kind of food she likes are what I like. That is a confirmation that God has been gracious to enable the two of us come together before it is too late. So the story of my love with Foluke is the story of two innocent children that fell in love and there is no other way to express it to each other than to be childish about it. So the two of us have been very childish and it has been very deep and we are enjoying it seriously. The way I feel about Foluke since we started, I have never felt it about any woman in my life and that is a confirmation that she is my woman. I feel so deep, so emotional, and I am attached to her. What we have built more than a year ago is more than love, it is a bond. Our prayer is that God should continue to help us to be able to sustain it until death do us part.
…(cuts in) what of the white wedding?
Definitely, our white wedding shall be coming up when the coast is clear for us to do so; for now, we are traditionally engaged and that is the most important aspect of any wedding ceremony in Africa, I have gone to her house to marry her. Before the Western culture came, the only form of marriage we knew was the one we had. To our culture, to our people, it is the best kind of marriage and that is what we have done, which has confirmed the two of us as husband and wife, so she is no longer Foluke Daramola, she is now Foluke Daramola-Salako. Our wedding ceremony will come up once the coast is clear, we came from two marital experiences and we have to be sure that we can engage ourselves in the Western way again, but we are planning it.
Are you in the process of divorcing your estranged wife since you are still married to her sort of?
I am using this medium to tell the world that I had not been properly married to any woman until I met Foluke Daramola. The woman that left my life was not properly married to me, that is why it seems her family members did not recognize me as her husband, that is why they did not intervene and they have not intervened in our issue; everybody that I expected to come in has kept quiet so far, they are staying away, they are not intervening, may be because I did not do traditional wedding with her, may be because I did not pay her bride price, or I didn’t do what I have just done with Foluke Daramola, may be that is why they left the two of us to our problems. What custom and tradition expect is that the parents of the two of us should meet and see whether there could be a solution to the problem. But as I am talking to you, everybody in my wife’s family has kept quiet. That is the same thing I didn’t want to do in Foluke’s issue, Foluke had been living with me for 30 days before we decided to be engaged. I talked to myself that if I should be living with Foluke Daramola again and I don’t do what I am supposed to do on her traditionally, if any issue comes up again, the same thing might happen. I didn’t want to make the same mistake I made with Bukola Olukoya with Foluke Daramola. May be if I was officially and traditionally engaged to Bukola, her family members wouldn’t have kept quiet, may be they wouldn’t have left us to the issue or behave as if it was not an issue they should intervene. That was why I decided to marry Foluke traditionally so that I could be recognized by her family. I don’t think I am recognized in my ex-wife’s family as a husband because I did not go there to beg for her hands in marriage, may be that is why I have not been recognized as her husband or else the family would have made a move to reconcile us.
Why didn’t you make efforts to be traditionally or legally married to your estranged wife?
I made efforts to engage Bukola traditionally, but the response I was getting from her and her family members was not encouraging enough. Even, who was supposed to be asking for it did not ask for it. Foluke Daramola asked for the traditional marriage that we did on February 15, 2013. She was the one saying; ‘Kay, I cannot continue to be living with you if you don’t go and marry me properly from my parents.’ She was the one that asked and agitated for it because she was convinced that I am her husband, so she wanted me to do the right thing on her so that the world would not be calling her a prostitute, a woman who went to be living with a man like a prostitute, who went to force herself on a man. Already, some journalists had been asking that why would Foluke Daramola be living with me, when I had not done what I ought to do on her. So, Foluke didn’t want that embarrassment, so she asked for it. She said if I was convinced she was my wife I had to do that and since I was convinced, I had to do it. But all through the 13 years, Bukola was passive about it, anytime I talked about it, the response didn’t make it happen. If Bukola had been on my neck, if she had been persuasive and agitated for it, it didn’t happen because God did not want it to happen because if it had happened, may be I might not have the opportunity to hook up with the woman of my destiny. Foluke Daramola is my wife, anyone that believes that God talks and that He exists and talks through vision should go and ask, the Bible says ‘you shall know the truth and the truth shall set you free.’ Let me establish this that it is only a mad man that will say because he wants to marry his girlfriend that will now drive his wife and his three children; three boys, away. I can never ever do it, it was my wife that packed her things and left and when she left, for three weeks I was weeping like a baby, I cried to my uncle’s wife, I became lean, my life was destabilized, I was confused, I didn’t know what to do until the revelation started coming that ‘Kay, what your wife did, don’t blame her, that is the way destiny has arranged it, that is the way it must be.’ I am just telling you only about this. It was arranged by destiny, my wife couldn’t control what she did because what she did was beyond her. What has happened between me and Foluke Daramola is beyond us, it was done by God, it is God himself that wants it to be like that because what would have made an established married woman, a supposedly woman of God, who preaches the Bible to now start bringing vehicle to her matrimonial home to pack her things. I did not deny her anything, my three children are in a standard school, where I pay a lot of money, go and ask them if I owe school fees, she even went to the school to pick them, my children left the house in their school uniform. Was I a drunk, I don’t drink, if you see me drinking, it must be social drinking, I don’t get drunk. Have I ever drunk and fall inside gutter, what would have made her to leave my house, did I bring Foluke Daramola to her house, even up till now, is Foluke pregnant, she was not pregnant then and even now. I don’t have any child out of wedlock, the only children I have are the ones Bukola took away. I have never beaten her before; I have never raised my hand against her before. I don’t deny her of money, sex, and attention; I am not a man that will leave home to sleep outside for two or three weeks. If I must sleep outside, Bukola must know about it and it must not be more than one or two days, except I traveled out of this country. I was living inside Bukola, after God, she was my second god. When she left me, she left me devastated, I almost committed suicide, I was going about begging people to help me beg her, I thought that was the end of my life, that my life would crumble. People talked to her, she refused, more than 200 people begged her to come back, she refused, she kept on saying she didn’t want to die, who wants to kill her, she didn’t reveal that to me up till today until when the revelation started coming. I had been a responsible husband to Bukola all my life, I can defend it anywhere, so what made her to leave my life, it’s about God, it is beyond her. What made Foluke Daramola to agree to marry me is beyond her, it’s about God, she will always marry me again, again and again with all she knows about herself and our relationship and I will always marry her again, again and again because we all know Foluke Daramola is even more committed. I didn’t marry Bukola Olukoya traditionally because she did not encourage me to do so; it is the woman that will encourage a man to pay her bride price.
There are insinuations that your wife left because she learnt you were romancing Foluke Daramola, would you say this is true and did the relationship with Foluke start before your wife left the house?
I am not going to say much about this, the Bible says ‘a wise woman builds her home, while a foolish woman destroys it.’ I have always told my estranged wife that I will always be a good Christian, but that I refuse to be a foolish Christian. 80% of Christians in Nigeria today are practicing Christianity foolishly. I am from a Baptist family, I know what Baptist doctrine and orientation is all about, one man, one woman culture is not Biblical and I will prove it. One man one woman mentality in marriage is a culture of the western people, it is not Biblical, I am going to establish that to the whole world, let anybody challenge me about it. Jesus Christ came into this world, he never talked about marriage, he never preached about marriage, he never slept with any woman, he never got married, he didn’t have a child, which means marriage is not a criterion to get to heaven. Marriage was created for companionship, just for the man or woman not to be alone, so if a man prefers to build his own companionship around five women, so be it. In Africa, a man is allowed to marry more than one woman, I am an African, if I prefer to marry more than one wife, so be it, but I never planned to marry more than one wife because one woman, one trouble. My wife that left was just being foolish and I will continue to tell the whole world that my former wife did not leave me because of Foluke Daramola because the question anybody should ask her is did I bring Foluke Daramola to her house, did she catch me on Foluke Daramola, did she catch us kissing and romancing, did I impregnate her, did I marry her before she left the house. Why should an established married woman pack her things and leave the house for a girlfriend to come and leave if that woman is not foolish. I never planned to marry Foluke Daramola, we were just friends, we just discovered that we appreciated our companionship, anytime the two of us were around each other, we always enjoyed it, so we became very good friends, I am the one that told Bukola at home about my friendship with Foluke Daramola, she did not know anything about her, I was the one that told her that I just met an actress, who had agreed to be my friend and work with me on my project; Change Agent of Nigeria Network (CANN). Foluke Daramola saw my efforts in Fasholamania Network Group and felt we could do something national, something that can have national appeal, she thought she could assist me with her popular face and celebrity status to build the new project, she appreciates my ideals and principles and we are compatible on that. She saw everything she would want in a friend in me and to God who made me, I never planned to marry Foluke Daramola, I never planned to even make her my lover, we were just friends, but my wife just packed and left the house. She has not even told me all these while, why she left the house and she has always said it and I have text messages on my phone, that it was not because of Foluke Daramola that she left the house, and that why would she leave the house because of Foluke. She said it that she didn’t leave the house because of Foluke and I don’t know why she left, she just kept saying she didn’t want to die.
Would you take Bukola back if she comes back to you?
I dated another woman, Princess Adeola Olagunju for five years and we were very close and it was public. If I had wanted to marry another woman after my wife, it could have been her. Everybody knew my relationship with her, a beautiful woman, everybody knew her, but I didn’t marry her because I had promised my ex-wife that I would not marry another woman after her, that she was going to be the only person, I am not a womanizer, I don’t womanise. It is my wife that pushed me out to have a girlfriend, I only had a girlfriend at a time and I don’t hide it, I don’t hide my relationship from my wife, she pushed me out, but that reason is for another day. If I wanted to marry another woman, it should have been Princess Adeola. I have one man, one woman mentality; I cannot keep two girlfriends or two wives at a time. I told Foluke Daramola I am ready to live with her only if she doesn’t push me out. So, if my wife wants to come back, the decision is left for her, I am not the one, who pushed her out in the first place, but she knows what to do, she has to go and meet my father, my father has to agree for me to marry her again, all the notable people in my family must agree and they must agree for her to come back. Then, her lawyer she told to write me for divorce four days after she moved away from the house to notify me of her intention to divorce me must write me again that she is coming back.
…what of your children, what is happening to them now?
My children would be okay, thank God they are boys, a man cannot live beyond his destiny, they are men, they would live the way their father wants them to live so that they can grow up to be ideal men, but they won’t suffer. I speak with my children, I send money to them, when they ask for it, I am taking care of them, I pay their tuition fees, I send money to them for feeding and upkeep. Anytime their mother needs money for them, she calls me and I send within the capacity of what I can afford because I cannot steal. In December, I still took my boys out, gave them good money, they still see me, we talk on the phone everyday. The only thing that will not happen is for anybody to make me to leave Foluke Daramola, anybody that wants me to leave her is my enemy, I will run away from that person.
You and Foluke are parents, are you planning to still have children together?
Foluke Daramola has two children, I have three, so from our unions, God has blessed us with five children. If tomorrow, my children come to my house to stay with me, Foluke will accept them with open hands, she has vowed to accept them as her biological children and I have also accepted her two children as my own children. What if I don’t have a child and I have to go and adopt, so I have adopted her children, the only thing we cannot do is to change their names. Their liabilities are my liabilities and their responsibilities are my responsibilities, if anybody says I’m a fool, the person should leave me alone. Do you know the child that will bury you, do you know the child that will stay with you and bury you. Do you know the child that will take care of you when you grow up, take care of the children first and let God decide who amongst them would take care of you and if all of them come around you, it’s your luck. However, we are planning to have two or three more children together, if possible, a set of twins.
Did you foresee what is happening now?
17 years ago, even before I met my first wife at all, a prophet from the Cherubim and Seraphim (C&S) Church in Mafoluku, Oshodi area of Lagos prayed for me and told me that in the journey of my life, I was going to come across one woman, he told me he didn’t know if I was going to marry her or not, but that what would make me know when I come across the woman are two things; the way I would feel about her and that I was going to meet her with two children; one boy and a girl. He said that, when I meet her, that is when the story of my life would change and God would start re-writing my fate and that the woman is the woman of my destiny and that the two of us would travel, we would be very close, we would have a bond and travel on a journey of life, which would fetch us a lot of greatness and beautiful testimonies, since the day I received the vision, I had been looking forward to the woman I would meet like that. I have never met a woman with a boy and a girl until I met Foluke Daramola and when I met her, I went back to ask if she was the one and over 65 pastors said that she is the one. Can 65 men of God, people that God talks to, be wrong, I went to Cotonou, I went to Benin Republic, I traveled out of Lagos State to go and find whether Foluke was the woman of my destiny and when I asked who she would be, everybody told me she is my wife that I should go and marry her and that I should not allow anybody to discourage me from marrying her. They said I should go and marry her before it is too late, that I should start living with her and see what God would do concerning my life. God bringing Foluke to my life is about God and I am happy about it. So, I knew I was going to meet Foluke Daramola, I didn’t know who she was, then, how it was going to be, but the vision of 17 years has just come to pass in my life.
Can you give us two or three signs that you have seen that she is God-sent?
The first one, before Foluke Daramola came across me at all, she said she had a dream, where my mother that died 29 years ago went to her, pulled her hands and told her that ‘my daughter, you are going to help me, please help me, I have an assignment for you,’ and she woke up, she said that my mother mentioned her name as Rebecca Omoladun Salako, how would Foluke Daramola had known my mother’s name before I met her at all. She didn’t understand the meaning of the dream at all.
Three weeks after was when Foluke Daramola’s friend, an actress colleague introduced me to her for the first time in my life. I did Fasholamania for five years, I did not come across Foluke Daramola at all until Princess Bukola Fasuyi introduced me to her because the two of us were lonely then, we needed friendship and because of my Change Agent of Nigeria Network Project, Fasuyi too is a member, so she wanted Foluke to be part of it.
Number three, after meeting Foluke Daramola, when we now became friends, Foluke had a dream, she saw the two of us like two little children; I was tying a white wrapper, she was also tying a white wrapper, it was a long dream, it was in that dream that she was told that the two of us were created for each other. They told her that ‘this man is the man of your destiny.’ On my own part, I am not a dreamer, I consult, I have people, who pray for me very well, I have a 105 years old CAC prophet, who lives on a prayer mountain permanently, he was the first person that told me that I had just met a woman, that I should not leave her, and that she is God-sent, that she is the woman of my destiny. I was cross-checking to know if it was true and everywhere I got to, up till today, everybody told me not to make the mistake of leaving her and that she too must not make the mistake of leaving me because the two of us are made and created for each other as husband and wife.
Also, the way I feel, the first day I saw Foluke, I felt so good as if I had known her for more than 20 years, she also felt the same thing, then the way we enjoy our company, anytime the two of us are together, we share beautiful moments. Then, our parents, the first time Foluke Daramola introduced me to her mother, she drove me away, the first question her mother ask me was; ‘are you a married man?’ I said ‘yes ma,’ she said ‘how many children,’ I said ‘three children,’ she now called her daughter and told her she didn’t want trouble and that her daughter should not date a married man and she came back to tell me the same thing and drove me away. A week after, the same woman called me that she wanted to see me, I went there with fear and she told me that God told her, not only her, but other pastors around her that I am the daughter’s husband, my own father too went out and came back with the same conviction.